25 Comments

Arachnid Avoided

By Kori Miller

For as far back as I can remember, I’ve been terrified of spiders. Not simply scared – terrified. I have my mother to thank for this. One night, she and I were in the kitchen hanging out. I sat at the table; she was near the counter. She screamed! I bolted out of my chair.

“What?” I said.

It was a spider. It was heading behind our very large, not so easy to move unless you’re terrified by a spider, microwave. My mom disappeared. She returned with a large can of hairspray. We plotted our attack. After all, there were two of us, and only one big spider. My 5’1” mother began moving the microwave as I maneuvered into place, hairspray in hand. It’s amazing how well hairspray can annihilate a spider. Oh, and leave a really sticky mess. We left that for my dad to clean up.

***********************

Once, while I lay quietly on my bed contemplating nothing in particular, my gaze went to my ceiling. There was a black spot. I couldn’t recall that black spot being there before. Slowly, I reached for my glasses. I wasn’t convinced that putting them on was a good idea. At this moment, it was just a black spot.

I looked at the ceiling. Wait, a minute! Did the spot move? Panic surged through my body beginning in my feet. I put on my glasses. AH! (You know how sometimes when you’re really scared, you scream, but it’s only in your head?) I had to get out of the room! What if it fell on me? I carefully removed the covers from my body. I didn’t want to startle the nasty thing. Realizing I couldn’t simply sit up (that would put me closer to the spider); I scooted to the edge and rolled off the bed with a soft “thud.”

“Dad! There’s a spider on my ceiling!”

I retreated from my room. The spider could have it.

************************

Now, I live in the country with my husband and children. The spiders vary and out-number us. I decided I couldn’t allow my children to learn this fear from me. When I see one in the house, I force myself not to panic (scream). I trapped and released one — once (I didn’t even break the glass it was in when I did it!) When my husband is around, I’ll calmly say something like, “You need to go take care of something in ______.” I don’t usually have to say “spider” since it’s the only hairy, creepy, crawly thing in our house that terrifies me.

I garden. As you can probably imagine, this poses a bit of a challenge. I have to admit that the spiders serve a purpose. They shouldn’t all die. There’s a spider that kills wasps. I appreciate that since I’m allergic to bees and wasps. They obviously help with the “beneficial bug thing” in my garden. But, when I’m weeding and the spiders bite me, I tend to get a little annoyed. Spider bites itch a lot more than mosquito bites.

I noticed a black and yellow spider likes hanging out in our shrubs. Its front legs are long and its body is narrow. I pointed it out to our children. I like yellow. It’s still a ghoulish spider, but the color makes it look a bit cheerier somehow.

Over time, I’ve sort of come to terms with my irrational fear of spiders. I still hate it when they sneak up on me. Damn things. Don’t they know how creepy they are?

About korimiller

Author * Speaker * Trainer.

25 comments on “Arachnid Avoided

  1. I don’t mind spiders, but I hate moths. I think it is because they fly in your face. Although it is rather weird that I don’t mind spiders because I live in black widow and brown recluse country:)

    • We’ve got the brown recluse here, too! That’s a scary spider. Sooner or later, I’m going to write about the black widow I found in my bed. Moths? I’m okay with those.

  2. I can completely relate Kori! I have an absolutely irrational fear of spiders. I especially chuckled at the part where you’re carefully rolling off the bed…I’ve done that so many times. If spiders were capable of rational thought, they’d be endlessly amused at us, I’m sure of it.

    Good piece!

  3. Funny story and I’m with you on the spider fear. I’ve gotten it to a point where I don’t freeze, but launch out of the room. Usually tossing my wife in to handle it. She gets the spiders, I get the cockroaches (at least when we lived in Florida).

    • Ha! I take care of the snakes.What is it about spiders? You know what’s warped? I liked the movie Arachnophobia. I haven’t watched it in years, but I liked it. There’s clearly something wrong with my brain.

      • I like Spider-Man. I know with me, I got attacked by a spider when I was a kid. I won’t go into the terrifying details. Prior to that, I had no problem with the things. They still attack me too. Like the sense my fear.

      • I don’t give them time to attack! Sometimes, I make a deal with them. If they do their job, then I won’t kill them. But, the big hairy wolf spiders creep me out too much. Those have to be killed early otherwise they get too big. Our cats didn’t even want to deal with the one at the bottom of our basement stairs last week. I used the flat side of a broom on that one. I think it tried to lift it up.

      • Wolf spiders. The name just screams creepy, evil predator.

      • Do you have one in your book? Please tell me ‘no.’

      • Not a wolf spider. Luke is mildly arachnophobic though.

  4. OMG! I am terrified of spiders too!

    I can pick up snakes, actually any reptile, most any bug…NOT spiders!

    Haha! Good one!

  5. I’m not fond of spiders at all! My dad is terrified of them, but he played the hero to rescue me from them many times and then trembled like a leaf afterwards! I hate the big Palmetto Bugs (aka roaches) we have in Florida…I’m just saying. I scream for my mom like a girl when I see one. Oh, wait I am a girl! lol

  6. Once I drank a daddy long leg spider that had crawled into my coffee cup. Very gross! I recently moved to the country and a spider bit me a few weeks ago and the bite is still red and itchy as all get out.

  7. We now have June bugs flying around the light at night. Gotta keep you mouth closed when hissing for the dogs

  8. Kori, I can really relate – ever since a spider the size of my 3-year-old head (not really, but it felt that way) visited my bed in the middle of the night, I have had an uneasy relationship with spiders. A strange albino spider woke me up this morning as it crawled on my arm. It didn’t live to see the sunrise, but I’m proud to say I did not screech, scream or otherwise utter a sound. I was too horrified. I agree, they are creepy!!

  9. I loved your post Kori 🙂

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