Save Ionia, Save the World

Soldier Squirrel - Deviant Art

Soldier Squirrel – Deviant Art

I had hoped to get this in sooner, but for The Step Up and Be Counted prompt, and for Ionia

Rodrigo, the Squirrel Commandant, surveyed his troops and shook his head.

“I don’t know if we’re up to it, but dam’d if I’m going to let the Chipmunks win today.”

“Sorry, Commandant – what was that?”

Rodrigo looked up, startled. He hadn’t seen Corporal Jones. He quickly backtracked: “Nothing, Corporal. We have a job to do. The Princess Ionia is at the top of that tower, and we’re going to take down every chipmunk, rabbit and grasshopper that gets in our way, or I’m not the Commandant of the 165th Infantry Division.”

Letting the men see him weak was not good. Things were bad, but they weren’t that bad.

“Aye-aye, Sir.”

* * *

Rodrigo gave the signal and the 165th unleashed its furry.

Weeks-old confectioneries flew from cannons.

Mortars spat desiccated jimmies.

Sprinkles shaped like morning stars rained down on the alien invaders.

Bodies piled on top of one another until invader and savior alike muddied the battleground.

Through a haze punctuated by mortar blasts, Rodrigo took his knife and maneuvered his way through the maze. A bloodied and bruised champion, he made it to the top of the tower.

But he was too late.

The stairs were littered with cupcake bombs. Frosting smeared the walls. The final door was ajar.

Rodrigo took a deep breath and peered inside.

Princess Ionia sat amidst the disaster as though it were her throne. Her fearsome captors had been disarmed and were docile at her feet.  She had a cupcake in her hands.

Rodrigo bowed low. “Princess Ionia, I see you have already saved us all.”

About KM Sullivan

Descended of pirates and revolutionaries, KM Sullivan is a lover and student of all things Irish. Born in the States, she is a dual US/Irish citizen, and studied history and politics at University College, Dublin – although, at the time, she seriously considered switching to law, if only so she could attend lectures at the castle on campus. She lives in the American Midwest with her son, two cats and a pesky character in her head named D (but you can call him Dubh). Her first book, Changelings: Into the Mist, a young adult historical fantasy is available now on Amazon and Barns and Noble. She can be found writing with said character at her blog, The D/A Dialogues.

30 comments on “Save Ionia, Save the World

  1. Wonderful! You get the prize…uh, I think its a cupcake:>)

  2. Reblogged this on The D/A Dialogues and commented:

    D: Rodrigo?
    A: That’s what you have to complain about, D? The name of the Squirrel Commandant?
    D: It’s just that there’s so much, A.
    A: . . .
    D: Fine, it’s a lovely tribute, A. We all love Ionia and honestly I can’t imagine anything better than a war fought with cupcakes. There. Are you happy?
    A: Ha! I win.
    D: And here I was just getting used to the silence. . .

  3. That was funny and epically awesome!

  4. Oh Katie that was wonderful! Just what we all needed.

  5. Oh this was delightful! 🙂

  6. How clever. How perfect for dear Ionia.

  7. Hilarious. Would that all wars were fought with cupcakes and Jimmies (whatever they are).

  8. […] just had to be there” prompt, and finally, Squirrel Commandant Rodrigo does his best to save the world by saving the Princess, in get-well tribute to Ionia. Get well soon, […]

  9. There’s always something I pick up from your posts. Today, I’m liking this statement: “Mortars spat desiccated jimmies.” I had to look up what desiccate means. Very clever, Katie, very clever, indeed! I think I’ll use that word in the future just to liven up my otherwise drab retelling of the fifth cantaloupe piece sliding down my throat.

    • Thank you, Jack! It’s one of my favorite words (a little redundant when describing jimmies, but i figured the more dehydrated they were, the better mortar rounds they’d make!)

      Also, cantaloupe is one of my favorites. I may just have to stop at the store on my walk today – you made me hungry!

  10. “Princess Ionia, I see you have already saved us all.” So true. Loved this Katie 🙂

  11. What rip-roaring fun! Ionia is truly blessed to have such a bounty of creative minions 🙂 (And I think Rodrigo is a perfect name for a squirrel commando 🙂 )

    • Thank you, I do too. “The Squirrel Commandant) was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the prompt post, and Rodrigo quickly followed. I love posts and prompts like those – so much fun to think up and so much fun to write!

  12. Katie, this was so much fun to read, I had to come over here and read it too. I love it. Thank you my friend, and thank the Druid too.

  13. […] felt his heart expand with joy – a feeling only the Princess had inspired. Nay, not the Princess. The Queen, who was to be crowned this day, her […]

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