Submitted by Chris McMullen
Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night.
A tall, dark, and handsome knight was bored out of his mind.
Far, far away, a damsel was in distress.
The knight woke up and smelled the coffee.
The time had come to cut to the chase.
So he put the pedal to the metal.
He went the whole nine yards.
Then he went the extra mile.
He was careful not to burn any bridges along the way.
But he did break a leg.
It was nothing to sneeze at.
He took two cookies and saw the doctor in the morning.
Then he felt snug as a bug in a rug.
He turned nutty as a fruitcake and barked like a dog.
Unfortunately, he was barking up the wrong tree.
Fortunately, he had an ace up his sleeve.
Until he lost his shirt.
So he followed his nose.
He arrived just in the nick of time.
Better late than never.
The damsel was over a barrel.
A tiger was playing mouse with her.
The knight took the tiger by the tail.
Since he had a bone to pick with that tiger.
It was like playing with fire.
He cleaned the tiger’s clock.
Then he rubbed salt in the tiger’s wounds.
The tiger went stiff as a board and then bit the dust.
Next he buried the hatchet.
And the tiger was up a creek without a paddle.
When the knight and damsel met, it was love at first sight.
It was so romantic.
Because it takes two to tango and three’s a crowd.
They were like two peas in a pod.
He was dressed to the nines and she had money to burn.
So they tied the knot.
They even put the icing on the cake.
And they lived happily ever after.
They were on cloud nine.
Until they kicked the bucket.
Life goes on.
All’s well that ends well.
That’s a wrap.