I watched you leave and say goodbye, a thousand times before.
In waking thoughts and sleepless dreams I’d seen it all and more.
It was the way you held my hand, yet barely brushed my skin,
And in the way you kissed my lips, the bitter taste of sin.
In the way your eyes held mine, before your mask would fall,
And then you’d turn and leave me there. You did not hear me call.
I saw the pictures on your phone, a thousand times before.
Images that flashed on screen, you wouldn’t say what for.
You came in late and smelt of her and still we did not talk.
You waited till I went to sleep and left before I woke.
The loneliness that swallowed me, seeped in my very soul,
And still I could not ask you if, there was ever love at all.
I closed the door to pain and loss, a thousand times before,
In broken dreams and promises that hold a shape and form.
I keep them under lock and key and bury them inside,
But sometimes when the pain is strong, I’ve nowhere left to hide.
It’s then I let the Goblins out to feed my yearning lust,
Each one a pain I cannot bare but survival means I must.