Trust No Man


Has anyone…or you dear reader, ever truly stopped and thought about the inherent trust we have in our fellow man?

The reason I bring this up was triggered by something so trivial, I had to explore my own thoughts on this and write it down. It got my attention.

I was in a McDonalds™ the other day and had ordered a Big Mac™ with large fries. I was standing at the counter and kinda slipping into the vegetative state that we all tend to go to while waiting for fast food. I tend to watch the workers and reminisce about my high school days as a Taco Villa employee. How sad is it when you tell a teenaged worker at Mickey Dee’s, with obvious nostalgia, that we didn’t have all that fancy crap when we were in high school? We had to cook the burgers on the grill, and slice our own fries!

Punks! Don’t know what hard work is. Or polyester….or corduroy for that matter, or Welcome Back Kotter.

I’m watching the intricate ballet of my order being assembled, looking here looking there, when I focus on the guy filling my French fry box. He fills it full with fries and looks at his handy work. That’s when he pulls out a fry that is longer than the others and chucks it back into the fry bin. And he’s not even wearing the little hand condom most places insist on now. “He just threw that fry back” I thought with alarm. Someone’s gonna get a fry that was pulled from someone else’s order, and it was touched by a bare hand! “This is a teenage boy”…I think my next thought…I was a teenage boy once. I know EXACTLY where his hands have been!

“Man…the trust we have in people” I thought. Then I thought more…

Think about these scenarios:

A)     Driving down a 2 lane road, an oncoming car coming from the opposite direction. You grip the wheel a little tighter, move to the right a little bit more (left for the Limeys) and wait. Then you think, What if this guy is nuts and the last thing he shouted at his cheating wife when he stormed out of their foreclosed house was “I’ll F’n show you!” and then peels out of his driveway planning to crash into the first car he sees. Am I the only one this happens to?

B)      Oh, never ever send food back to the kitchen. Trust me on this.

C)      A doctor walks into the exam room and tells you to drop your drawers or throw your legs up into stir-ups….And we do it! With no hesitation! We let them handle our family jewels without a thought. With women it’s even worse I think. Oh…quick question: Why do women go to a male OBGYN? This has never made sense to me.

I am a man. The Doc is a man. When I look at a woman’s Hoo-ha, I think about sex. It just happens. I can’t control it. It is in our DNA. So, if you women readers wanna throw out “He’s a trained doctor and a professional!” Believe me when I tell you that no man is THAT professional. I don’t give a shit what anybody says. All men are pigs.

D)     Buying food from street vendors or roadside BBQ stands also worry me now. Have you ever seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

E)      The Canned goods in the grocery store are another concern. What if someone accidentally, or just for the hell of it, dropped something like…pee, poop, or lye into a big vat of cooking soup?

I could go on and on about other examples, but I’m freaking myself out now. I am a guy and a trucker. I am an avid believer in the 10 second rule. I will eat chicken wings that have sat in my truck for 3 days without hesitation!

We are a civilization that has come to grips with the fact that sometimes it’s better to just ignore things. We trust people in certain jobs because we are taught that is the way it is.

I believe in the goodness possible in all men. But I’m also not stupid and know there are people that will pee in your coffee, spit in your food, jerk off in the taters or have cold hands when they grab your Hoo-ha’s.

This is just something I wanted to bring up and make you think about it.

Do we trust people out of:

A)     Need

B)      Necessity

C)      Or because we want to?

I want to trust people.

The ‘public’ scares me, but people I trust.
                                                 – Marilyn Monroe

About treyzguy

I am so full of self-confidence and crap that I would worship myself against my own will.... Under penalty of death.

30 comments on “Trust No Man

  1. I now know to have depends on when reading your post! Thanks for the laughter. Keep it comin!

  2. You’ve thought hard about this 🙂 Yes, NEVER send food back to the kitchen and NEVER be rude to your waiter/server! Growing up my mom always told us NEVER buy food from street vendors. To this day I still don’t….but when I do, I don’t tell her 🙂

    As for women going to male gynecologists, you just have to grin and bear it. I mean, I don’t think we feel any weirder about the doctor’s sex. You still have to show your nether regions to a complete stranger. I think after doing this every year for 20 years, it’s just like “whatever, man.” By the time we get around to having children (me – three times – in a teaching hospital, where every student has to take a peek ) you just close your eyes and hope you never see these people on the street.

  3. I like how your brain works! And I must be a weirdo because I think about #1 all the time. 🙂
    Oh, and the OB/GYN thing – guys are nicer about the whole thing (I’ve had both)! Dirty minds and all, they’re just nicer!

  4. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has strange thoughts. I do this all the time. What if the person standing next to you on a street corner shoved you into oncoming traffic? What if the guy filling up his car next to you decided to direct the nozzle your way and then toss a match? My mind went into overdrive after my first child was born. I never let him out of my sight! I wonder what this says about us? Is it just natural for writers to think this way? The constant “what ifs?” Oh, and I’ve only been to a male gyno once and I swear he was thinking about sex the whole time. It creeped me out so bad that I haven’t been to a male doctor since.

  5. I’ve done this before. On a train, about a ten minute journey, I started silently freaking out because a guy left his bag on the seat while he went to the toilet. Started thinking he might get off at the next stop, there might be a bomb in there, etc. He came back, grabbed his bag and sat down. Made me feel a little silly, to be honest.

    As for the OBGYN thing, I know a girl who was dating an OBGYN. Apparently, it did sort of worry her at first. She spoke to him and the way he explained it was basically, he’s seeing a lot of different women throughout the day, of all ages and with varying ‘problems’. It’s very disconnected from sex, and for him, it was basically very, very hard to even think of sex during that time. Perhaps it’s just something you get used to. And they are both in their mid-twenties, so it wasn’t like he’d been doing it for decades.

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