Weekly Prompt: Do Not Panic!

(Based on a true story for the Frost Prompt.)

Good morning, Orlando!  We here at WJRR have been getting some calls that we feel should be discussed.  We know you’re scared and confused, but there is no reason to panic.  The cold crystalline material you found on your car this morning is not a sign of the apocalypse or anything drug related.  It is called frost, which is nothing more than a thin layer of ice.  When the weather is cold, frost can appear overnight on things that are outside.

You may notice that your neighbors and friends who are originally from the north are taking this event in stride.  In fact, we’ve had some calls from former New Yorkers and New Jerseyians trying to explain this.  Though, we’ve had more phone calls making fun of the panic that they’re seeing.  To help us out, many have given us an advisory list to make sure we Floridians survive this sudden and terrifying event.  They assure us that these are important lessons:

Most importantly, do not try driving with the frost on your car windows.  We’ve already had multiple accidents because of this and even one event where a man drove with his head out the window.  They’re still looking for the head.  Please realize that your car has been designed to handle frost.  There is a button called the defroster for the rear window and a setting on your heater for the front window.  Yes, your car can make heat as long as you switch it off from the air conditioner.  The side mirrors can be fixed by scraping off the frost with a tool that most of you probably don’t own.  Maybe a spoon will work, but we have been told not to shatter your windows or use your tongue to clear them.

Second, do not set your car on fire to get rid of the frost.  This is a bad idea.

Third, if you’re really that scared then call in sick or get a ride from a braver coworker.  Don’t be a fool or a hero.

Fourth, do NOT panic!  Please put away your ‘End of the World’ signs and bibles.  The Four Horsemen are not coming.  Reports of seeing this are all because a horse ranch was broken into during the initial chaos.  We ask that anyone who sees these four riders take the time to realize they’re wearing UCF football helmets and stolen prom dresses.  Police are trying to apprehend them, but it will take some time while they figure out how to defrost their vehicles.

Now back to the same ten songs you’ve been listening to for the last three weeks.  Four of them by Katy Perry.

By Dean

By Dean

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.

14 comments on “Weekly Prompt: Do Not Panic!

  1. Heh. I was living Tucson, AZ one year when it snowed. None of the snow survived long enough to accumulate on the ground, but flakes were clearly visible in the air. People stopped on the sidewalks and stared up at the sky in wonder….

  2. I have heard that it snowed in Florida one year (can’t recall which one) as far south as Orlando, but it did not stick. I have never seen it in the 16 years I have been here, but I would be one of those in wonder. We do get frost in some bad years. Just enough to kill my tropical plants 😦

  3. Very well done. Reminds me of Christmas 2008 when it snowed in South Texas. Many converts that day.

  4. I remember being in Orlando at Christmastime 2010 – Up until we left it was supposed to be lovely and then it turned bitterly cold… ie: 34. There were frost advisories everywhere as though snow-ageddon was nigh (and since I live in Wisconsin, snow-ageddon is nearly every other week!). Of course, the first time it snowed a half inch in Dublin, I was struck dumb with the rest of the campus (I think we were all hoping for a snow day).

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