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….crap

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It happened again…

At least I think it did.

I can’t remember if it did or not, but I still have a sense of confusion.

That’s usually a marker that I have forgotten to do something, I can’t remember something or I can’t remember to do something I forgot about.

This seems to be a daily dilemma for me now that I have passed my 49th birthday.

At least I think it is…I can’t seem to recall

I am getting so tired of these little “spells” of mine.

At least I think I am…I forget…

Let me check my “reminder app”.

I forgot where I put my glasses again.

I had broken images in my mind of picking them up right after getting out of bed this morning.

Vision is very important when the blood is too high in my coffee levels.

Walking thru a very cool Illinois breeze, I went into the truck stop for some coffee and a biscuit; my hoodie pulled over my face…my hands jammed into the gut pouch.

I made my morning pilgrimage to the Throne of Reflection (I’m very devout) and I got my java and biscuit, then trudged back across the breezy truck parking lot to my Bertha.

I think one of my hoo ha’s fell off…I can’t remember

I climbed into my writing nook and booted up the old lap top. The password screen came up and I reached over for my glasses in their little holder thingee…

No glasses.

I hung my head.

Oh hell, here I go again.

“I just had ‘em” I thought.

You know that whirring sound you get in your head when trying to remember something…?

I don’t have that. It’s more like a record skipping….

I then proceeded to tear apart the interior of my truck.

As I was ripping apart everything, I decided that as I was moving everything around I might as well clean my sleeper.

When I had removed what I didn’t need that had accumulated over the last 4 weeks, I made up my bed and sprayed it with Febreeze. This is the marker I employ that I have completed the bed making ritual.

I got back in my nook, looked at my lap top screen.

What was I doing? I couldn’t remember.

I stared at the screen trying to recall what it was that I had been doing, my finger hovering above the mouse pad.

Was I gonna check my email?

I drug my finger across the mouse pad, and looked at the screen again.

That’s when I remembered that I was a blind bitch and had been looking for my glasses.

I reached back for my glasses holder thingee.

Not there.

I chided myself for forgetting that I had already checked there. I looked over my shoulder and seen I HAD made up the bed…..so I’ve checked there
already.

Or had I slept on top of my blankets…? I can’t remember.

I do remember however, that if I have made it to the bed making stage that all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Another marker of mine.

Again…I hung my head.

Again…I put my hoodie back on…

Again…I trudged back thru the cold to the truck stop.

Again…I bought some more coffee.

Déjà vu?

I waited in line for my turn. When it came, I asked the nice lady (I think it was a lady) if anyone had seen a pair of reading glasses.

“Do they look like the ones hanging from your collar?” she asked…smiling.

“…Bitch” I thought

I didn’t give everyone the pleasure of watching the crazy person flip out.

I calmly reached up to my collar and touched the glasses saying “Yeah, kinda…but the frames are black”

Nice save.

Lying ass.

The bitch said…smiling again…”No sir, but if someone finds them I’m sure they’ll bring them up here”

I smiled…

Then I drug her over the counter and beat the shit out of her, then I swung her dead body around my head like a battle axe, wanting to kill everyone
else that was behind me in line….because I KNEW they were laughing at the crazy person…

In my mind…

I thanked her and exited stage right.

I was standing next to my truck when I got that feeling again…

I just stood there for a minute.

I started to head to the store, stopped and looked back at my truck.

“Where’s my god#$@&^% keys!” I screamed at my dumb ass

Frozen in place… trucks honking at me…drivers cussing at me

Then I slowly turned back towards the store.

I think I left my keys and Sunza Bitchin’ coffee on the counter!

I can’t remember though….

About treyzguy

I am so full of self-confidence and crap that I would worship myself against my own will.... Under penalty of death.

11 comments on “….crap

  1. What do you want?! LOL! You have stroked my ego, now I’m yours forever lol! Thx very much!

  2. How do you ever loose your glasses when you have two pair on right in this picture? Tell you what, take this picture and tape it to your dash, so next time you are wondering where your glasses are you will look in two places first. This will save you from having to kill the poor woman who mocks you in the store.

  3. HOLY MOLY, Trey, once again I am rolling with laughter! I’ve done similar things and can so see myself in this situation!

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