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Birthed in a Crucible of Despair

A true story

After a grueling nursing shift,

Caroline sat alone, slumped, at the kitchen table.

Head bowed down, resting on her arms

with a glass of cold beer beside her.

Just like the other night and the night before that..


A traumatic childhood,

A husband dead after eight years of wedded torment,

Caroline was



Too exhausted now to carry out any nefarious plans she had concocted to end her own life.

Depressed , empty, seemingly devoid of hope

At a dead-end of nothingness.

Yet, a tiny flicker appeared, a flame of inspiration birthed in a crucible of despair

A thought rose up, swelling, pushing all other notions aside,

a thought of surrendering everything to God.

Her past, present and future with plans, hopes, desires and disappointments.

Even more, Caroline offered her identity, her very core self.

Slowly, she grew warm, pleasantly warm,

Felt an actual physical heat on her arms, backupper-antelope-canyon

Raising her head she was startled to sense a beam of light focused just around where she sat

but the room, the room looked different, brighter, as if a veil lifted off her eyes.

Then Caroline smiled

sensing words,

words within,

strange words

” Live in the Light. Seek the Truth.”

She glanced at the ever-present beer.

“Did those words have something to do with that glass of beer?

What if, just for tonight, she didn’t drink that beer or the next one after that?

Was that part of living in the light?

Caroline smiled,

dumped the glass

miraculously fell asleep, into a deep, restful sleep

A sleep that was the beginning of a new way of living.

” Live in the Light. Seek the Truth.”

It became her mantra, guiding her like a beacon for years to come.

Two simple sentences.

” Live in the Light. Seek the Truth.”


About melanie jean juneau

Melanie Jean Juneau serves as the Editor in Chief of Catholic Stand. She is a mother of nine children who has edited her kid's university term papers for over a decade. She blogs at joy of nine9 and mother of nine9. Her writing is humorous and heart warming; thoughtful and thought-provoking. Part of her call and her witness is to write the truth about children, family, marriage and the sacredness of life. Melanie is the administrator of ACWB, a columnist at CatholicLane, CatholicStand, Catholic365 , CAPC, author of Echoes of the Divine and Oopsy Daisy, and coauthor of Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood.

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