Leave a comment

Embrace Thyself

OK….
I’m gonna lay it out there.
I’m gonna let it hang loose…

I’m gonna expose myself, but without the execution of an embarrassing arrest warrant; only the satisfactory and titillating reward of this wondrous, handsome stack of man pie.

image

I am a bitch.
I am a cry baby.
I am a drama king.
Sometimes I am a drama queen, depending on if my dramatic expostulations(?) have reached panty stage or not.

I complain non-stop.
My wife drinks…a lot.
Hmmm…
“You drink too much”
“Because you complain too much”
E=mc^2…?
Catch 22…?
1+1=2….?
x – y= Pfffftttt!

image

I think it’s because my needs aren’t being met or attended to in a fashion that merits their importance and/or my expectations of aforementioned needs as indicated…uh… Aforementioned, earlier…. .

I am a nit-picker.
I am a clean freak.
I hate empty ice trays and the people that don’t refill them.

I hate white people.

image

Yes, I know I am Caucasianul nongrata…that’s not the point.
If I hate white people, I’ll be like everyone else and not be a racist anymore.

I am a racist.
I am a bigot.
I hate things I don’t understand.
That’s why I hate Chinese and people from Brooklyn…
I go thru life pretty hateful then….
I don’t understand a lot of things but, that’s because no one will explain anything to me so I can understand it.

Like….women and the Rubiks cube.

image

Why do women get pregnant all the time?
Why can’t we just have sex all of the time without worrying about compromising after effects…?
Hmmm…
My new word for kids…
After effects….or Dirty, stinky, selfish, little, ankle biting Bastards….
I like that one best.
Describes them quite nicely, what…  

image

You know what else?
….just thought of this.
It’s kinda weird how guys can have sex with each other all the time and they never get knocked up…

Proof positive that women use sex to trap us into a meaningful and fulfilling relationship.

I love you, honey.

I like pedicures.
I am a man.
I am not gay.
My toes look great.
I am not gay.

image

I use baby wipes for everything.
I wash my hands, constantly.
I have never gone blind playing with myself but, I do need reading glasses now to read the Penthouse forum stories…..
Weird.
1+1=3….?

I trust in God but, that’s because my money tells me to.
E Pluribus Unum(?) sounds like a criminal act committed online on one of those “stroking” sites.

I hate buttermilk.
I hate tomatoes.
I hate cabbage.
I hate Irish people.
I don’t know why I just said that….
Do Irish people like cabbage?
Hmm, I thought it was the Germans.

Anywho…

image

I’m weird….
I should wear a helmet and a bib when I talk to grown ups….

I should quit picking my nose.
But, the rewards!

I have nice boobs for a dude….
I am totally and completely….nay….resoundingly bored on this Good Friday.
I hate obvious things….

Have a great weekend and I’m sorry you wasted your time.

I hate blog readers.
So needy….

About treyzguy

I am so full of self-confidence and crap that I would worship myself against my own will.... Under penalty of death.

Penny for your thoughts (we won't resell them)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Horror4Me

Journalism so good... it's scary.

transcribingmemory

Decades of her words.

J and I Publishing

Creative Color Book Publications

Tony Flye

Author

Everything Indie

Supporting Indie Authors with Tips, Reviews, and Services

frankalrich

Community manager for ReviewCreep.com - Exposure Platform for Wordpress Review Bloggers

Barbarian Writer

A Story For The Æons

Five.

Five true stories, every five weeks.

You Knew What I Meant

Errors and Intentions

Koreanish

Alexander Chee

Bending Genre

Essays on Creative Nonfiction

harm·less drudg·ery

defining the words that define us

Antariksh Yatra

Journeys in Space, Time and the Imagination

The Task at Hand

A Writer's On-Going Search for Just the Right Words

Mashed Radish

everyday etymology

rottenindenmark.wordpress.com/

Is this gentleman bothering you?

%d bloggers like this: